I’m Not So Laid Back

I have a confession to make: I'm not particularly laid back. Those of you who know me well probably aren't so surprised by this confession. My husband and kids certainly aren't. I've always been a bit *ahem* tightly wound.

There's no place in my life where my not-so-laid-backness shines brighter than as a mom. And there are no people who test my not-so-laid-backness quite like my sweet, adorable, headstrong, red-headed children.

Take this picture for example. We're casually roasting marshmallows for s'mores, right? With a professional photographer on hand. Wearing carefully coordinated outfits. Not so laid back. Do you see ear warmer head band thing Emelyn (my oldest) is wearing? NOT part of my plan. I can't look at these pictures, that are in so many ways amazing, without cringing over that ding. dang. ear warmer.

If I had it my way, my kids would always wear exactly what I pick, and shirts that were purchased with particular pants would always be worn together. No experimenting, no mixing it up. That's just chaos, people.

I have a friend who packed all of her daughter's outfits in gallon baggies complete with hair accessories. Her daughter knew to keep baggie contents together at all times. This woman might be my hero. She also might be more not-so-laid-back than me.

My kids, however, revolt against such beauty and organization which leaves me enduring ear warmer pictures and the "creative" outfits my children choose to wear in public. It's hard for me to watch. I do it anyway because I know I'm empowering my girls to express themselves and have ownership of their lives in a safe way within the safe boundaries of our family.

What I'm coming to realize is letting go of my not-so-laid-backness might be the best thing that's ever happened to me. You see, I've always worn this character trait as a badge of honor but the truth is it's really an expression of pride. It's a declaration that my way is the only way. It's another way of saying that no one else's opinion or desires matter. And that's not how God has called me to live.

God has called me to live in humility. One of the best ways to be humble is to admit my flaws. So I'm starting here: I'm a not-so-laid-back mom. This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have quite a few more confessions to make. So stay tuned, it just got interesting.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
- Philippians 2:3